How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Six

The Slutty Pumpkin

The slutty... pumpkin???

Halloween party costume gone wrong?

Costume?!?

Maybe Robin, who doesn't usually like Halloween, will dress up as a slutty pumpkin? Marshall's is made of wool so he can't be a pumpkin. Barney likes Halloween because girls unleash their 'inner hoebag'. Where is Ted?

Robin has been dating a man for several weeks!! who is this man Robin and Ted are destined to be star-cross'd lovers

This show does actually title drop every single episode. It's actually quite nice. But what is this slutty pumpkin?

So it's a girl Ted likes.

He saw her 4 Halloweens ago? Ted, you live in New York. She's probably dead. Get over it.

Ted has told this story so many times that Barney, Lily and Marshall know all the words. I guess this was a defining life moment for Ted

Sonny and Cher...

I wonder what Marshall and Lily are going to wear this year? I'll guess that wool line wasn't throwaway

Why (why, wby) would you write your number on a CANDY BAR WRAPPER ON HALLOWEEN??!? Does Ted not have a single other piece of paper or anything?

Ted Mosby: Socially inappropriate since at least 2001

Marshall is a good Captain Jack

The Curse of The Black Pearl surprisingly came out in 2003 (I was 10, WTF) so my fears that the movie copied the show are unfounded. Is Lily meant to be a parrot?

"You're going as my wingman. Flight suit up!"

How punny.
Am I supposed to know what Ted's costume is? Because I don't.

Barney has (somehow) gotten his a Ted passes to the Victoria's Secret Halloween party! Also ,I have a feeling I might have seen this scene before. It's kinda familiar.
Oh man, I bet Robin's 'joke' will be serioused in the form of Mike.

Yep, it is

Barney is not having fun at the roof party (why can't he go to Victoria's secret by himself? Or invite other friends? Does he have other friends?) while Marshall, Lily, Mike and Robin go on their double date.

Robin is not putting very much effort into her relationship. I don't think it is going to end well.

Barney is repping a second costume

Satan

in case he strikes out with the hottest woman at the party. Is he gonna try and get with lei lady again?

So what's the bet Barney has a third costume? I don't think saying "I'm a horny devil" is the way to get with someone

Has Robin ever had a boyfriend before??? she is emotionally stunted

Naww Robin just got dumped :-(

Oh man I was fooled again! The penguin is the slutty pumpkin!

I wonder how Ted will scare this girl off.

can she drink through that beak?

LOLOLOL IT'S BARNEY
Oh man I wish I had a friend like Barney

Marshall and Lily won YAY

Ted and Robin hang out and talk about how much of failures they are
I wanna live in a New York apartment building! they are cool

So that plot... was weirdly unresolved? I guess that was the point but I don't like it

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Five

Okay Awesome

So thanks to the predictive power of flash-forwards (our future is their past) Ted will go deaf in this episode. Although the title makes no sense to me. It's not even a proper sentence.

Well, I stand corrected.

"Okay? Awesome!"

Damn title dropping all over the place. So I guess Okay is the hottest nightclub in town? Maybe the music is really loud and Ted goes deaf??

"A friend of yours named you?"

So even Barney has not been to this exclusive place. It must be full of women.

Racial diversity

I'd have to take a drink if I were playing the How I Met Your Mother drinking game right now. Because Lily's school children have been shown.

Lily and Marshall have been doing 'mature things' because Lily feels embarrassed that she spends all her weekends drinking beer at Mclaren's. So they're not invited then?

"She's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment-"

"Translation: she's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly."

 Lily thinks Ted's blazer is gorgeous but it's  kinda... purple?

I'm getting a Willly Wonka vibe

Barney has a strategy for picking up women.

It involves grinding

Marshall is not having fun at his adult party. Also he doesn't want kids. I wonder if Marshall and Lily will have kids sometime? I think I've seen one more episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall and Lily were hiding in the bathroom and Lily really had to pee. Although that might have been a different show. I guess I'll find out!

Ted said "this place is loud" so I'm liking my 'Ted goes deaf from loud music' theory! I bet he doesn't end up with Kelly because of misunderstandings caused by the loud music

Really, really, loud.

Kelly and Ted have some conversational misunderstandings while Robin is rejected by the VIP room and Marshall makes a fool of himself at the party.

So Marshall just jumped out the bathroom window (which looks way too small for him to fit through it) and is on his way out! But how will he get into Okay? Maybe he can be one of Robin's bitches too. Also that bathroom (which I'm sure we haven't seen before this) strongly resembles the one in my imagination in which Lily needs to pee. I'm excited for that episode to happen now that I know the backstory of the characters and stuff!

Ted has to pay $34 for two bears while Lily is bored by talk of Nora Jones. Wait, has Lily realised Marshall is gone yet? She must think that he's been in the bathroom for ages.

OH GOD TED WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Ted is, the biggest fool EVER.

Just because the music is loud does not mean you should shout ridiculousness because obviously it will stop just as you shout "I'm wetting my pants!" I am actually apprehensive to watch the rest of this scene because I am cringing for Ted right now. 

Oh no Robin has now been left outside because the bouncers have changed! At least hopefully Ted will come out in a minute and they can hang

Coat-wench... Emma from Glee?!?

Now Marshall has bumped into Ted so he probably won't leave. Poor Robin.

Marshall has dental problems.

Lily has also jumped out the window and is also on her way to Okay, tho confront Marshall. What are the people left in their living room going to do?

Marshall is high on pills?

Now Lily and Robin have got into the club by flashing the bouncer. Not at all a sexist entry

"Those were the four greatest and only breasts I have ever seen."

Ted is chatting to coat wench, while Lily and Robin split up to look for Marshall.

But he's right in the middle of things...

Literally

Barney's grindee knows him and runs off horrified? Is it his sister i predict so

Also, Ted is wearing lots of coats for some reason

It was Barney's cousin Leslie and Barney makes Ted promise not to tell anyone. But Ted's just told his children in the future!

Why isn't Robin catching the taxi with them? I guess she lives in a different part of town.

And that's the end.

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Four

Return of the Shirt

Hmm, what shirt? I don't remember there being a shirt in any of the previous three episodes. Not one that was especially important anyway. Maybe I'll find out through flashback.

Ted says that only one relationship can end in happily ever after, and the rest just result in people getting hurt. This involves someone getting hurt. So it's obviously not about the mother, then, is it?! Why are his children not ragin'

The shirt.

Ted wears the shirt to Mclaren's, where Lily and Robin think it looks good.

Barney wants Robin to say 'nipple' on TV. She's not keen.

"Step into my web."

I have a feeling that this isn't just a throwaway line though. Probably it will happen right at the end of the episode.

Ted's 'genius' plan to re-date one of his old exes is FILLED WITH DANGER, TED. Don't do it!

Danger, Ted Mosby!

Even though Ted's wearing a new shirt and everything, I think this is just another way for him to stay inside his comfort zone. He knows his exes, and they liked him once, so it's much easier to try an old girlfriend than it is to try and chat someone new up. But I can tell that this won't be the mother anyway, because of Ted's comments to his children.

"Hold on. There are only two reasons to ever date a girl you've already dated. Breast. Implants."

Oh, Barney, you are so great.

We are then treated to a quick run-through of Ted's old flames: Steph, who made 175 porn films in one month; Jackie, a hit-and-run driver; and Natalie, who is obviously 'the one'.

Robin has been called to her boss's office to receive a story at City Hall!

Robin is emotionally overwhelmed.

It would be pretty lol if it turned out that the story was about a boy stuck in a toy machine at City Hall

It's about a 50-year old hot dog stand AND ROBIN SAID NIPPLE!!!

How exciting!

How does Barney have so much money to give away all the time?!

And now Barney has whispered something in Robin's ear! I bet that will come up at the end of the episode.

Has Natalie seriously not changed her number in three years? Ted should just fb her

Oh man I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure Natalie is Amber from House!!!! I just Wiki'd it and I was right! It also said she was in two episodes so maybe she's in this one and the next one? Or maybe she comes back in like season 6 or something. Anyway I'm guessing Ted was a dick to her since she hung up on him.

LOL he dumped her on her birthday. Wait didn't the same lady play a character in Friends who was dumped on her birthday??

Yes, she did!!!!

Friends parallels are infnite

Turns out, Ted just left her a message. Whatta dick.

Wait, did Barney just say he's 35? That's quite a lot older than the others. But he has a younger sister?? Bet she turns up sometime to complicate things for Ted

"An occasion that was supposed to be joyous suddenly turned tragic when Ethel and Sadie Margolis, New York's oldest twins, suddenly passed away on this, the eve of their 100th birthday. [Pause] I'm a dirty, dirty girl."

I can't put the noise he is making into words

Robin's boss needs some dogly advice. And he's not mad at her for saying these things! So I reckon she will get even more extreme with them (although my predictions up until now have been a bit rubbish).

Ted goes over to Natalie's (with a giant stuffed animal??) to say sorry. She's not very keen. And now Ted has tricked his way in oh lol

Natalie was not expecting this!

Oh man. This show. Its crazy camera angles are always tricking me. Ted left his message while the room was full of all of Natalie's friends at her surprise party! I suppose Natalie has nursed this hurt for 3 years and, to be fair, Ted was kinda an idiot. Couldn't he have waited just one day?

Everyone looks happy...

Now Ted and Natalie are back together again. But I sense trouble. Surely Natalie can't be the mother?

Oh no Ted 'has to break up with her'. No you don't, Ted! BAD TED! BAD! TED!

I don't think you always fall in love with people straight away, Ted. Give it a chance, man!

"Wanna talk mature? I just wrapped up a live newscast by honking my own boobs."

You go, Robyn!

Barney wants Robyn to do some chant/dance about a sports player... something something. Idk, I imagine Robin will get caught/fired after this

It's Natalie's birthday again!!!!!!

Ted is the most hopeless love person, EVER.

"You've already given me the best present of all: I can trust again."

Staying single is looking pretty good right about now

Robin and Henry.

Robin's not going to do the dance, is she? Poor Barney.
Robyn just fell over lololol

Oh man, Ted just broke up with Natalie. But how will she react? It could go either way I reckon but she'll probably be mad

I am occasionally psychic

Yeah, she's really mad.

Oh god she knows karate

Tu meke pictures? Sorry but they're tu good

So one thing I do like about this show is they do drop little hints throughout the episode to things that are gonna happen in about 10 minutes. Maybe I should start paying more attention to everything, because I did not expect this.

Oh man Natalie must come back in like Season 5 or something probably with her new husband. Or something.

Phew, I'm 2.94% through! Only 132 eps to catch up to America! If I watch one episode a day, I should be caught up around the 27th of October. Which means I won't be caught up since Season 7 will have already started screening. But oh well.

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Three

The Sweet Taste of Liberty

Okay so I'm haven't looked at the episode title yet. Even though I doubt it will be spoilery. I know it's written up above but that is is current me's future. Current me is past me now. Yeah.

So, Mclaren's is Central Perk. Amirite?

Also I know Robyn's name is spelt Robin but the spelling Robyn looks much nicer. So I think she should be renamed okay

"Phone Five!"

So Barney has kidnapped Ted by explaining that Ted is in a rut, always going to the same bars. Now they are on their way to the airport to pick someone up.

Oh man Barney is so clever with his woman-catching schemes. He's gonna pick up chicks by pretending to have just arrived at the airport from Japan in his role as a high flying businessman.

Ted is unimpressed.

Meanwhile, Robin (ughh it looks like a boy's name) and Lily are hanging out at Mclaren's. I have a sneaking suspicion that these two plotlines might intersect in about 10 minutes.

Lily feels left out as Robin is chatted up.

At the beginning of this episode, Ted refers to one night "before I met your mother". So he might meet the mother tonight, but he can't have met her previous to tonight. My Robin theory has now moved from 'very unlikely' to 'extremely unlikely'.

Ted tries to chat someone up at the airport.

She's not very impressed.

LOLOL Barney just manhandled Ted onto the floor right in front of attractive women (they think he fell though)

'Insert penis here' lolololol

Oh, my god.

This show is the most ridiculous.

Ted and Barney are now catching the same plane as these women! I know it's women, but first throwing three parties for Robin and now this? These scenarios are so exaggerated yet somehow still perfectly believable

"Barney! Don't you get on that escalator. And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator."

Oh man, Marshall, I share your not-want-to-study pain. In fact, I'm procrastinating to watch this show! (I'm even procrastinating breakfast)

"Hey, guess where I am? I'm on a, ready, plane, to ready, Philadelphia."

Oh Barney.

Okay, how can Marshall check his photos while taking a call? My phone can't do that! And why didn't his phone make a noise or anything when the pictures came through? I know it's a joke but these practical considerations have ruined it for me

"So where you from? Heaven?"

Oh noes I think Lily is sad that Robyn is getting all the attention. I wonder if Marshall is the only person she's ever been with? Probably not.

The girls on the plane are visiting their boyfriends who might be going to propose. I did some quick Googling and the cheapest tickets from New York to Philadelphia right now are about NZD$180. If Barney's paying for both of them there and back that's like $700. And I'm assuming that tickets bought about 5 minutes before the plane leaves are going to be a bit more expensive. Quite a lot of money to spend on women I would have thought.

I don't know what a linebacker is but I assume it's someone who's really muscly? I hope Ted and Barney don't get beaten up, but it would kinda serve them right. I wonder what they're going to say if the girls ask them why Barney and Ted are en route to Philly.

Is it legal to drive while on your phone? It's not in New Zealand anymore. Lots of people still do it though.

Take your ring off, Lily!

Lily is still sad but thinks if she takes her ring off guys will be all over her? Sadly I THINK NOT

She puts the ring in a really awkward, small pocket in the front of her woolen jacket thing? I will not at all be surprised if she loses it. Typical Lily.

"Flight attendants! They'll get your tray table in its full upright position."

And now Barney and Ted have been arrested (?) by airport security! But why?

OH NO

They left their bags on the carousal and then bought a last-minute flight with cash to Philadelphia!
What a hilarious and unforeseeable consequence of their actions. How will they ever talk their way out of this one.

LOLOLOL

This is definitely a 'what not to do' situation
Barney seems to think that the phrase 'International Business' means that people will automatically respect you and follow your orders. Poor Barney. But mostly poor Ted! Surely this is going on their criminal records? They'll probably be stalked by the CIA for life.

That is not even possible.

The fact that Barney has been playing this game for a while is revealed through security camera footage from the airport, including Barney climbing out of a bag? What, did he ride inside it in the plane? What are x-ray machines for?

Marshall is their lawyer this is great

Wait, what is Barney's job? How can he afford several hundred dollars in cash?? So many mysteries

Oh Lily. Why do you do this to me.

Lily just spilt her drink all over herself because of her ridiculous puffer lips. Why aren't all these people real OH GOD WHY

"It's gonna be legen - wait for it - (and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is) - dairy."

Marshall needs to use his indicators while driving. He is ticking the majority of driving-risk-factor boxes right now. At least he hasn't been drinking.

Lily pretty much begs a man to have sex with her using her eyes and then cruelly reveals that she is engaged.

He is disappoint.

Except not really because he's gay and just came over to let her know that she sat on a grape.

So Sasha's party involves watching TV with some of Sasha's male friends. Surely it's a least mildly unethical for Sasha, an airport security official, to invite two recently released from custody people over to her house?

Oh no, Marshall has called Lily but Robin has answered Lily's phone as Lily is still talking to gay guy. But Robin doesn't know that he's gay and thinks that Lily is chatting him up! How could hilarity not ensue from this situation

Marshall has a mild in-car breakdown this evening is not going well for any of our main cast members is it

Marshall and Lily have been together for 9 years, and Lily hasn't been single since high school. I guess that makes Marshall and Lily around 27 as well? I assume Robin and Barney are also around that age.

Of course Ted will give in and go and lick the Liberty Bell. "You're my best friend" usually works on people.

Ted hangs out with Barney for the stories. I like stories!

And the episode was called, 'The Sweet Taste of Liberty'. So it's both metaphorical and literal.

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Two

Purple Giraffe

I'm certain that there was no opening sequence last time! And here is my info that Robyn is a main character:

You don't get in the opening credits unless you're important!

I know Ted said that he was too close to the puzzle to see all the pieces (or something), but I still don't see how Robyn could become part of their friend group. OH MAN is this show the Friends of the 00's?? If it is I will never cry again

~Random Thought~ Has it been confirmed that Ted is the father of these 2030 children? Because otherwise maybe the father is Barney?!?!?!

New York is pretty

OMG Lily ran into Robyn somehow!! This plot is picking up to the max

Ted is still in love with her. I wonder if this plot will take several seasons to resolve?

How many glasses is Barney carrying in one hand!?!

Lily: making women look good at keeping secrets since 2005

Ted is casual

How come attractive woman who want casual don't hang around anywhere I go??

"I can't ask her out because if I ask her out I'm asking her out."

 Did you guys get high? 

This is so great.

I wanna have a party now! Why are exams so silly

Lily is horny.

Since I suppose deception is the whole premise of this show, all these sneaky camera angles kinda make sense. Did not expect Ted to be sitting on that couch.

Now Ted has run off to find Robyn after stalking her via the news. He's still creepy.

But little boy was looking for a purple giraffe!!!! Dare I say, 'Episode Title Drop'?

Urgh, Ted, there is a 10000% chance that you will stuff this up somehow. Just, don't be yourself.

LOLOL Ted is the hopelessest of all

"It's tonight. The party's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday?"

Party Time!
Also, this is not HD those words are a lie

"Solid plan, my little friend."

"We're the same height."

Apparently the roof is the place to be? I am definitely getting a Friends vibe here.

I probably should stop taking screengrabs. But they're all so good!

Aww Robyn didn't show up :-(
FFS, Ted, answer your fucking phone

LOLOL i am literally snorting right now. I think Ted's lies will soon catch up with him. Maybe Marshall should go to the library to write his paper?

even more LOLOLOL Barney's girl has found him again. that's not supposed to happen.
i should stop saying lol but LOLOLOLOL


What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you've just met?

"I think I'm in love with you."

Robyn didn't show up again. I don't like where this is going...
predictable yet somehow still hilarious

I need to think of a new word for 'lolol' but I was laughing so much that only squeaks came out. Robyn heard everything what will the consequences be omj

Oh no, Robyn is with Carlos. This does remind me of Friends, I have to say. Ted + Robyn the new Ross + Rachel? Lily can be Phoebe, Barney Joey, Marshall Chandler? That seems to work.

A mysterious flashback montage scene involving the aforementioned purple giraffe

Why is Robyn not blowing her rape whistle, even I'm not as creepy as Ted's being right now

Aww, at least she let him down gently

WELL FINAL-FUCKING-LY

If he'd done this at the beginning, none of this would have happened.

WAIT

TED

YOU DICK

WHAT THE FUCK

THIS SHOW MY MIND I CAN'T HANDLE

he is so a jackass, Robyn. don't make excuses for him.

"Hey, Robyn, you only have to be lonely and have no friends for a few more months, okay?!?!"

Friends.

YAY Robyn is hilarious and I'm enjoying this story now. But will there be an end-of episode plot twist like last time?

Urgh, I don't think he's over Robyn yet. Still, only 62 episodes until the season 3 finale! In which Barney is hit by a bus, apparently. (highlight to reveal spoiler. if you dare.)