The Colour of Magic - Pages 45 - 60

"Rincewind reached the Broken Drum at a dead run, and was just in time to collide with a man who came out backwards, fast. The stranger's haste was in part accounted for by the spear in his chest."

My reading of this book is weird because this seems to me like an exciting chapter opening, even though the only difference between this page and the previous is that the number of this page is a multiple of 15. Still, it's exciting and suspenseful!

So Rincewind has gone back to the inn (this must still be flashback) to find a rather extreme brawl going on (stabbings and bitings and crossbowings, oh my!). Rincewind runs upstairs, distracts someone with mumbo-jumbo, and then kicks him in the groin.

This is actually amazing.

Twoflower is asleep but is disappointed that Rincewind didn't wake him up for the brawl, as he wants to experience 'genuine Morporkian life'. Oh dear, it seems that Twoflower has been reading too many fantasy novels and has a rather idealised version of life on the Discworld. He'd probably get on well with Anne Shirley.

A book series I WON'T be reviewing, but
maybs Twoflower's been reading it?

Rincewind isn't a fan of heroes (this books seems to want to unglamourise them lol) and he lies to Twoflower about who some of the people in the tavern brawl were:

"The enormity of this lie was so great that its ripples did in fact spread out on one of the lower astral planes as far as the Magical Quarter across the river..."

Oh dear.

Twoflower has a camera and no-one knows what it is. Is the Counterweight Continent much technologically advanced? Also a MYSTERIOUS ALBATROSS OMG. Also Twoflower is an insurance agent (is his original language English?? In that case what does Rincewind speak) which Rincewind also cannot understand.

Twoflower is so absurdly rich that he's just buying everyone off and taking photos of them.

LOLOL Rincewind stole some the photos of the Whore Pits to keep for himself

Wait, there's a little man in the camera? That's not technology. Also has Twoflower been kidnapped??? Oh well I know he'll meet up with Rincewind again because we're still in FLASHBACK LAND

The Colour of Magic - Pages 30 - 45

Okay, so we're still in flashback time with Twoflower, and now Rincewind is in the bar! So we get to see how they met I guess. And learn some Rincewind backstory at the same time: after an 'unfortunate event' Rincewind dropped out of mage school only knowing one spell.

I thought he was all qualified and stuff? Flawed heroes can still be good heroes though. And now we learn that the chest is enormously valuable! And Rincewind can speak Trob, Twoflower's language.

"Rincewind thought that a meeting with most of the Drum's clientele would mean that Twoflower never went home again, unless he lived downriver and happened to float past."

LOL LOL LOL.

Rincewind is now choking on his beer at the knowledge that Twoflower comes from 'The Counterweight Continent'. I assume this is on the other side of the Discworld and balances it?

Lol Twoflower has $$$ and doesn't realise the exchange rate. Good thing he's hired Rincewind as his guide!

Oh no Rincewind has now been blackmailed into looking after Twoflower. Politics, eh?

The Colour of Magic - Pages 15 - 30

It starts on page 15, I didn't miss anything, don't worry.

Terry Pratchett uses such exciting words! Bifurcated: split into two parts. Octarine!

"By now the whole of downtown Morpork was alight, and the richer and worthier citizens of Ankh on the far bank were bravely responding to this situation by feverishly demolishing the bridges."

Lol.

Wait, is this the fire that was described in the prologue?  IMMA GUESS YES.

We are now introduced to two characters: Weasel, who is short and cat-like, and a tall swordsman. They decide to rob someone approaching them, fleeing from the city, as they need money to buy food and 'a soft bed' (and probably ale because that's what fantasy characters always drink).

NOW FOOTNOTE TIME YAY


'Turnwise' and 'widdershins'? This is so great. Also RINCEWIND
<3 <3 <3

So, Rincewind's travelling companion, Twoflower (Discworld's first tourist; thank you blurb) started the fire, apparently. Meanwhile, a box-on-legs that is magical is also with Rincewind. This is EXCITING. Also, I was wrong about the ale; they are now drinking wine. The river is diverted to flood the city and put out the fire.

Wait. I assumed that Rincewind was the 'young cosmochelonian' in the prologue, but this would seem to suggest that he is not. I am intrigued.


OMG Twoflower has four eyes??? WTF. Also, loving how he 'says' ? and !. Ooh, now here's our Fagin character (maybs), Ymor! Lol Twoflower just paid for his lodgings with coins worth four times the value of the property. I guess that would be like dropping a casual mill as you left a B&B.


Oh man, I have to stop reading now. This chapter a day thing is killing me.

The Colour of Magic - Prologue

So basically VERY EXCITE because I've been wanting to read this book for ageeees. And I went and got it from the library today!

EXCITING

And it looks like this and apparently the books are really really good and I'm so keen to read them all (I know there's like 40 but i don't even care) ahhh!!! Did I mention excited?!?!

So, all I know is that Discworld is a planet that's flat (and rimwise is a direction?) and it's carried on the back of a turtle (/elephants?) and it's just amazing in general. So. Here goes:

Well.

The prologue is only 2 pages but my expectations are so high that they were 2 good pages! So yeah, the Discworld is on elephants that are on a turtle and 'hubward'!

And a young 'cosmochelonian' (not sure if that's a real word but I won't look it up in case of spoilers) is the first person to witness "the burning of the oldest city in the world."...

Flipping through the book, it appears not to have chapters (BUT IT DOES HAVE FOOTNOTES AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING) so I'm not sure how I'll review it. Maybe every 15 pages or so?

I'm not sure how my review schedule is going to go; you may have noticed I'm not updating every book every day. I'll try and get 2 or 3 reviews a day up but it might only be 1. Probably won't be able to do 4.