How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Three

The Sweet Taste of Liberty

Okay so I'm haven't looked at the episode title yet. Even though I doubt it will be spoilery. I know it's written up above but that is is current me's future. Current me is past me now. Yeah.

So, Mclaren's is Central Perk. Amirite?

Also I know Robyn's name is spelt Robin but the spelling Robyn looks much nicer. So I think she should be renamed okay

"Phone Five!"

So Barney has kidnapped Ted by explaining that Ted is in a rut, always going to the same bars. Now they are on their way to the airport to pick someone up.

Oh man Barney is so clever with his woman-catching schemes. He's gonna pick up chicks by pretending to have just arrived at the airport from Japan in his role as a high flying businessman.

Ted is unimpressed.

Meanwhile, Robin (ughh it looks like a boy's name) and Lily are hanging out at Mclaren's. I have a sneaking suspicion that these two plotlines might intersect in about 10 minutes.

Lily feels left out as Robin is chatted up.

At the beginning of this episode, Ted refers to one night "before I met your mother". So he might meet the mother tonight, but he can't have met her previous to tonight. My Robin theory has now moved from 'very unlikely' to 'extremely unlikely'.

Ted tries to chat someone up at the airport.

She's not very impressed.

LOLOL Barney just manhandled Ted onto the floor right in front of attractive women (they think he fell though)

'Insert penis here' lolololol

Oh, my god.

This show is the most ridiculous.

Ted and Barney are now catching the same plane as these women! I know it's women, but first throwing three parties for Robin and now this? These scenarios are so exaggerated yet somehow still perfectly believable

"Barney! Don't you get on that escalator. And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator."

Oh man, Marshall, I share your not-want-to-study pain. In fact, I'm procrastinating to watch this show! (I'm even procrastinating breakfast)

"Hey, guess where I am? I'm on a, ready, plane, to ready, Philadelphia."

Oh Barney.

Okay, how can Marshall check his photos while taking a call? My phone can't do that! And why didn't his phone make a noise or anything when the pictures came through? I know it's a joke but these practical considerations have ruined it for me

"So where you from? Heaven?"

Oh noes I think Lily is sad that Robyn is getting all the attention. I wonder if Marshall is the only person she's ever been with? Probably not.

The girls on the plane are visiting their boyfriends who might be going to propose. I did some quick Googling and the cheapest tickets from New York to Philadelphia right now are about NZD$180. If Barney's paying for both of them there and back that's like $700. And I'm assuming that tickets bought about 5 minutes before the plane leaves are going to be a bit more expensive. Quite a lot of money to spend on women I would have thought.

I don't know what a linebacker is but I assume it's someone who's really muscly? I hope Ted and Barney don't get beaten up, but it would kinda serve them right. I wonder what they're going to say if the girls ask them why Barney and Ted are en route to Philly.

Is it legal to drive while on your phone? It's not in New Zealand anymore. Lots of people still do it though.

Take your ring off, Lily!

Lily is still sad but thinks if she takes her ring off guys will be all over her? Sadly I THINK NOT

She puts the ring in a really awkward, small pocket in the front of her woolen jacket thing? I will not at all be surprised if she loses it. Typical Lily.

"Flight attendants! They'll get your tray table in its full upright position."

And now Barney and Ted have been arrested (?) by airport security! But why?

OH NO

They left their bags on the carousal and then bought a last-minute flight with cash to Philadelphia!
What a hilarious and unforeseeable consequence of their actions. How will they ever talk their way out of this one.

LOLOLOL

This is definitely a 'what not to do' situation
Barney seems to think that the phrase 'International Business' means that people will automatically respect you and follow your orders. Poor Barney. But mostly poor Ted! Surely this is going on their criminal records? They'll probably be stalked by the CIA for life.

That is not even possible.

The fact that Barney has been playing this game for a while is revealed through security camera footage from the airport, including Barney climbing out of a bag? What, did he ride inside it in the plane? What are x-ray machines for?

Marshall is their lawyer this is great

Wait, what is Barney's job? How can he afford several hundred dollars in cash?? So many mysteries

Oh Lily. Why do you do this to me.

Lily just spilt her drink all over herself because of her ridiculous puffer lips. Why aren't all these people real OH GOD WHY

"It's gonna be legen - wait for it - (and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is) - dairy."

Marshall needs to use his indicators while driving. He is ticking the majority of driving-risk-factor boxes right now. At least he hasn't been drinking.

Lily pretty much begs a man to have sex with her using her eyes and then cruelly reveals that she is engaged.

He is disappoint.

Except not really because he's gay and just came over to let her know that she sat on a grape.

So Sasha's party involves watching TV with some of Sasha's male friends. Surely it's a least mildly unethical for Sasha, an airport security official, to invite two recently released from custody people over to her house?

Oh no, Marshall has called Lily but Robin has answered Lily's phone as Lily is still talking to gay guy. But Robin doesn't know that he's gay and thinks that Lily is chatting him up! How could hilarity not ensue from this situation

Marshall has a mild in-car breakdown this evening is not going well for any of our main cast members is it

Marshall and Lily have been together for 9 years, and Lily hasn't been single since high school. I guess that makes Marshall and Lily around 27 as well? I assume Robin and Barney are also around that age.

Of course Ted will give in and go and lick the Liberty Bell. "You're my best friend" usually works on people.

Ted hangs out with Barney for the stories. I like stories!

And the episode was called, 'The Sweet Taste of Liberty'. So it's both metaphorical and literal.

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode Two

Purple Giraffe

I'm certain that there was no opening sequence last time! And here is my info that Robyn is a main character:

You don't get in the opening credits unless you're important!

I know Ted said that he was too close to the puzzle to see all the pieces (or something), but I still don't see how Robyn could become part of their friend group. OH MAN is this show the Friends of the 00's?? If it is I will never cry again

~Random Thought~ Has it been confirmed that Ted is the father of these 2030 children? Because otherwise maybe the father is Barney?!?!?!

New York is pretty

OMG Lily ran into Robyn somehow!! This plot is picking up to the max

Ted is still in love with her. I wonder if this plot will take several seasons to resolve?

How many glasses is Barney carrying in one hand!?!

Lily: making women look good at keeping secrets since 2005

Ted is casual

How come attractive woman who want casual don't hang around anywhere I go??

"I can't ask her out because if I ask her out I'm asking her out."

 Did you guys get high? 

This is so great.

I wanna have a party now! Why are exams so silly

Lily is horny.

Since I suppose deception is the whole premise of this show, all these sneaky camera angles kinda make sense. Did not expect Ted to be sitting on that couch.

Now Ted has run off to find Robyn after stalking her via the news. He's still creepy.

But little boy was looking for a purple giraffe!!!! Dare I say, 'Episode Title Drop'?

Urgh, Ted, there is a 10000% chance that you will stuff this up somehow. Just, don't be yourself.

LOLOL Ted is the hopelessest of all

"It's tonight. The party's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday?"

Party Time!
Also, this is not HD those words are a lie

"Solid plan, my little friend."

"We're the same height."

Apparently the roof is the place to be? I am definitely getting a Friends vibe here.

I probably should stop taking screengrabs. But they're all so good!

Aww Robyn didn't show up :-(
FFS, Ted, answer your fucking phone

LOLOL i am literally snorting right now. I think Ted's lies will soon catch up with him. Maybe Marshall should go to the library to write his paper?

even more LOLOLOL Barney's girl has found him again. that's not supposed to happen.
i should stop saying lol but LOLOLOLOL


What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you've just met?

"I think I'm in love with you."

Robyn didn't show up again. I don't like where this is going...
predictable yet somehow still hilarious

I need to think of a new word for 'lolol' but I was laughing so much that only squeaks came out. Robyn heard everything what will the consequences be omj

Oh no, Robyn is with Carlos. This does remind me of Friends, I have to say. Ted + Robyn the new Ross + Rachel? Lily can be Phoebe, Barney Joey, Marshall Chandler? That seems to work.

A mysterious flashback montage scene involving the aforementioned purple giraffe

Why is Robyn not blowing her rape whistle, even I'm not as creepy as Ted's being right now

Aww, at least she let him down gently

WELL FINAL-FUCKING-LY

If he'd done this at the beginning, none of this would have happened.

WAIT

TED

YOU DICK

WHAT THE FUCK

THIS SHOW MY MIND I CAN'T HANDLE

he is so a jackass, Robyn. don't make excuses for him.

"Hey, Robyn, you only have to be lonely and have no friends for a few more months, okay?!?!"

Friends.

YAY Robyn is hilarious and I'm enjoying this story now. But will there be an end-of episode plot twist like last time?

Urgh, I don't think he's over Robyn yet. Still, only 62 episodes until the season 3 finale! In which Barney is hit by a bus, apparently. (highlight to reveal spoiler. if you dare.)

How I Met Your Mother - Season One, Episode One

Pilot

I wonder, are there any American shows for which the first episode isn't titled 'Pilot'? I like how Lost's pilot episode actually had a pilot in it. That made a tiny bit more sense.

Things I know about this show:

• Barney Stinson is a real playa and wears lots of suits. He is Neil Patrick Harris which is cool
• The show is about a group of friends, one of whom is called Ted
• Someone is someone's mother. But it's all very mysterious
• 12.1% of my Facebook friends like it. And apparently it's a really good show although I'm not quite sure why.

This episode starts off in the year 2030, with someone (imma guess Ted) telling his children a "long story" about how he met their mother.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TitleDrop

Now, tbh, the website I am watching this on is the worst quality ever. So any screengrabs I take are gonna be shit. I could get higher quality downloaded episodes I'm sure but cbf atm. Mostly because I'm only doing this so I won't have to study for 20 minutes.

(Although typing this up will probably lengthen that to an hour lolol)

Ahh too much info

Ted is 27 and an architect and lives in New York with his best friend from college, Marshall, in 2005.

Marshall and Ted

Oh lolol I was meant to think Marshall was proposing to Ted but I know from having watched a few episodes on TV that he is actually married to Lily (??) who has big eyes and red hair.

I have seen a couple of episodes of this show on TV, but I can't really remember them. There was one where Ted took someone's sister to a wedding? Or something.

lolol sex physics

I can't wait until I grow up and have flatmates. Itsa be great

Yay the introduction of Barney!

he is great already

"Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians."

suit up?

Okay, I guess Barney already knew that Marshall is planning to propose to Lily, but since Lily doesn't know yet, isn't it kinda inappropriate to be talking loudly in a bar about their future children? I don't know if Barney is good at keeping secrets or not.

Flashback yay

Ted. You have problems.

Wow, Ted's goatee is really horrendous. I wonder how long ago this meeting was? And in case you were wondering I see nothing wrong with becoming friends with someone that you met at a urinal

So, Barney really likes suits?

why don't my friends play 'Have You Met Liam'? it looks like fun

I just realised that I'm only 15.2% into the episode and I've already written kinda a lot. oh well. all these thoughts aren't really connected, and I'm just writing them as I have them. I think it's better that way.

Now we meet Lily yay! I think she has really big eyes!
also, Marshall can't cook and Lily works at a preschool? what does Marshall do? more importantly, (so much more importantly), what does Barney do?!?

LOLOLOL Marshall is great, and in law school! i am also a student

So Ted's planned out his whole wedding? And is this Yasmina (?) chick gonna be important? I assumed she was just a random but maybe Barney/Ted gets with her?

Marshall is scared of champagne bottles?

Oh no, Yasmina (?) is dating bartender Karl. And something happening with the cork was really obvious but is Lily okay??? she can't be in hospital on the day she got engaged!!

Ooh, music and voiceover while slow zoom on lady in kinda-ugly green top! my expectations that she is the mother will probably be shortly subverted!

Green top lady! *EDIT* Robyn!

why is Barney not a real person he is so great

Oh no Lily has a black eye and the taxi driver thinks Marshall hit her which is hilarious

Poor Lily.

Oh wait! I saw another episode where Ted's students (but he's not a teacher? confused?) all drank every time some news lady said um, or something. Green top lady resembles the aforementioned news lady and is a reporter so is looking to be the main character that Yasmina (?) couldn't be

oh man will this show give me the dating advice I never received from Jesus even though some Christians tricking me into signing up to their relationship advice emails but they never sent me any? I sure hope so!

"De - wait for it - nied!"

 i like laser tag too, Barney! I'll play it with you!

why is 52 year old Ted a different voice person? it's very distracting.

Smurf penis.

Wait, has she told us her name yet?? she probably did and I missed it
Lily is tots rocking an eyepatch. she looks hot.

I love screengrabs

oh no mystery lady has been called away because a crazy guy is trying to jump off Manhattan bridge! and Ted didn't kiss her! you fool Ted

"Aww Ted, that is so sweet! So you chickened out like a little bitch."

Sorry Barney, I think Lily just passed you in best character-ness lololol

OH MAN A LASER TAG SCENE I AM SO EXCITE

yes Ted, you shoulda kissed her. what if something happens to her in the next week omg

"A week? That's like a year in hot girl time."

Lily went to grab Marshall's hand... but she kinda missed

ooooh Ted is a badass thief

I wish had somewhere to go in a taxi that wasn't just my house

man Barney is a fucking dude. I <3 him

UM I AM VERY FEARFUL THAT SOMETHING IS GOING TO GO VERY WRONG
also Ted's obsession with this girl is *kinda* creepy. I don't think she realises that speeches are already being written for her wedding

lololol @ everything Barney

ooooh is she seducing him??
also I don't think I'm supposed to know her name just yet. Because when she was talking on the news, they started talking over her name. It's very irritating to talk about a character whose name you don't know.

Fat zombie Ted?

Marshall and Lily started going out when he was 18?? I guess she's the only woman he's ever been with then.

omg ted you're a tv show character. kiss her right now or plot events will happen and run everything!!

LOLOLOL TED YOU FUCKING DICK
THIS SHOW IS JUST WHAT I NEED IN MY LIFE

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

even ted's future children are scandalised and i forgot that they exist
it's weird actually, because it means that the entire show is one giant flashback.

ahh they left ted there how awkward. and inappropriate conversation lolol

where did his olives go? in his pockets?

Look! No olives!

WHAT THE FUCK TED YOU MET HER YESTERDAY, TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE IS A NO-GO ARE YOU INSANE


kiss kiss are they gonna kiss omj

UH I THOUGHT HE WOULD HAVE KISSED HER IS HE SOCIALLY RETARDED


even ravjeet (?) agrees!!!!

AUNT ROBYN?!?!?!?!?!?

I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS PLOT TWIST EVEN THOUGH I PREDICTED IT HALF AN HOUR AGO

so what, does Robyn marry his brother? or he marries her sister? or does 'Aunt' just mean 'really close friend' like with 'Uncle Marshall'. Probably the latter

argh now I want to watch the next episode and I can't! whyyyyy

PS I just thought of this but is Ted still in love with her??? he'll have to get over her eventually if she's not the mother of his children

Domain Name Change

You may have noticed that the blog has moved from 'Chapter a Day Book Reviews' to 'Book and TV reviews'. I did this for two reasons.
Firstly, it's quite obvious that I am not updating one chapter a day. So now the name isn't a lie.
But secondly (AND MOST IMPORTANTLY) it's because I am now going to start reviewing TV shows!
!!!!!
So basically I will be occasionally watching How I Met Your Mother. Because apparently it's really good.
That's about it, really.

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Thirteenth

Reverts to the Merry Old Gentleman and his Youthful Friends, through whom a new Acquaintance is introduced to the intelligent Reader, and connected with whom various pleasant Matters are related appertaining to this History

So it's super duper chapter title length time! Also I am totally banned from saying 'so' for the rest of the review


I am pretty excited to be called 'intelligent' but Fagin is not merry AT ALL

This photo is too good to not use again

WHAT

Jesus Christ the first sentence of this chapter is TWENTY LINES LONG

Charley finds the whole situation hilarious:

"Master Bates..., bursting into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, flung himself upon a door-step..."

Cool.

DOES DODGEY HAVE A BRAIN TUMOUR

"'Toor rul lol loo, gammon and spinnage, the frog he wouldn't, and high cockolorum,' said the Dodger,"

Even cooler.

Fagin is Ragin' (that doesn't rhyme - I don't think - but it should) because he <3 Oliver obvs.
Ok I can't put too many quotes in but this stuff is gold. Fagin is nearly stabbed by a toasting-fork (what is that?) and he is constantly referred to as 'the Jew' as well. Their fight is interrupted, however...

By 'the menacing Bill Sikes'! (thank you, blurb!). Relative/Probable husband of Nancy?! He gets some great dialogue, and Fagin is scared of him (which can't be a good thing). There is some conversation that I don't understand but I think they really hate each other. At least Fagin calls Billy 'my dear' as well.

Nancy and Bet come back and Nancy is persuaded to go find Oliver at the police station (I think there's some casual mild sexism here but it's kinda hard to tell).

Oh man I totally forgot that 'the gentleman' has Oliver! The mysteriousness of the painting... How will Nancy find him? Will they try and kill him to stop him 'peaching'??

Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Eleven

Anne's Impressions of Sunday School

So Marilla has got some dresses for Anne AND WHAT'S THE CHANCE THAT SHE HATES ALL OF THEM???

"'I'll imagine that I like them,' said Anne soberly."

LOLOLOLOLOL I FUCKING LOVE ANNE

Anne wants a 'thrill' in the form of a dress with puffed sleeves, as they're in fashion. Marilla is having none of this because she doesn't believe in 'pampering vanity' and thinks the dresses are perfectly serviceable.

OH NO

Marilla has a headache so can't come with Anne to Sunday School and I COMPLETELY FORGOT that Rachel Lynde runs the Sunday School!

This is also a mild Doctor Who reference!!!

Since at this point I think Rachel is this book's Umbridge I am no longer a happy chappie.

Marilla also gives Anne a cent for collection which was probably like a billion dollars back then and is lol

Everybody is mean to Anne, whose happiness at being able to garnish her hat with flowers is dampened when she finds everyone else has puffed sleeves:

"Anne felt that life was really not worth living without puffed sleeves."

When Anne comes home she kisses Bonny's leaves (Bonny is a germanium as noted here) and proceeds to explain how dreadfully boring Sunday School was. Marilla is angry/anxious BUT THEN

"...some of the things Anne had said...were what [Marilla] herself had really though deep down in her heart for years..."

:D I LOVE ANNE SHE IS THE BEST

I'm Back! (Kind Of)

So I obviously am VERY VERY SORRY but I have had life changes like starting university and moving house and turning 18 but I am back now!!! Although I am unable to promise anything in the way of never leaving again. But I will try very hard. Okay.
I finished Gone, and then went along and read Hunger and Lies. I am a bit annoyed at myself for not being able to stick to the chapter-a-day limit so I am planning to try again with a different book (I am planning to get out The Great Gatsby) and I still have Anne of Green Gables and Oliver Twist to work through. So hopefully you'll be seeing a lot of me from now on! :-)