Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Six

Marilla makes up her Mind

I've noticed that my reviews for this book are quite a lot shorter than for Oliver Twist and Gone, so I'll try and write a longer review for this chapter.

Marilla explains to Mrs Spencer that there's been 'a queer mistake' and the message has somehow got garbled from Mrs Spencer's brother Robert, to his daughter Nancy, and then to Mrs Spencer. Why didn't Marilla just ask Mrs Spencer directly? Maybe now she's learnt her lesson that MINOR BOOK CHARACTERS CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED.

Lesson. Learnt.

Luckily, Mrs Peter Blewett (I really hope that's her husband's name and not hers) is looking for a little orphan girl! But how can the book be Anne of Green Gables if Anne leaves Green Gables?! Answer: it can't so she obviously doesn't.

Mrs Peter is horrible and Marilla feels 'a qualm of conscience' about handing Anne over. Well gee, Marilla, at least you have a small conscience. But she knows Anne is so miserable that she won't let Mrs Peter take her! Orphans 1, cruel oppressors 0 (Actually orphans get 2 for Oliver's BAMF escape from his place of employment).

Lol, Anne insults Mrs Peter (I think, what's a gimlet?) and Marilla has to hide an amused smile.

"[The Cuthberts] soon find it hard to remember what Green Gables was like without Anne Shirley."

This quote is from the blurb and we can clearly see Marilla being won over yeah! Go Anne, you feisty orphan you.

Okay. Are they married, or siblings?? I think they must be siblings because she says she's never had kids and is an old maid, and Matthew's a bachelor, so they MUST be siblings.

Next chapter: Anne says her prayers! Although something else must happen too as its 4.5 pages long.

There, that's a bit more reasonable length!

Gone - Chapter Two

298 Hours, 38 Minutes

It's counting down...

Kids are wandering all over the shop, lost, dazed, and confused.

""First we see about our parents," Astrid said. "It's not like there aren't any adults anywhere." She didn't seem sure of that, so she amended it. "I mean, it's unlikely there are no adults."

Oh Astrid, you are FABULOUS.

ABSOLUTELY fabulous!

Hermione is personally my favourite Harry Potter character so if Astrid is ANYTHING like her (and she really seems to be) then <3.

Oh dear, their town has a nuclear power plant that had an accident 'ages ago'. Well, there is a 2000% chance that this will be a plot point somehow. Maybs the plant goes into meltdown with no-one to staff it and some kids get crazy mutant powers? I'm sure I read somewhere that some people have powers.

The nickname of their town is 'Fallout Alley' and no-one wants to move there "even though all the radioactive fallout had been cleaned up."

WELL GEE, I WONDER WHY?

Oh no, Quinn's losing his cool :s

"His voice got louder each time he yelled. Louder and faster, and the sob was clearer, harder for Sam and Astrid to pretend not to hear. "

:-( I feel for these kids. They are way to young for something like this to happen to them.

Good old Astrid has flicked the light switch! Dealing with sirius problems by logical rationalising ftw. And now they've decided it's god.

I've read Left Behind, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, which takes the same basic premise, with all Christians suddenly being removed from earth and taken to Heaven. I don't know how the series ends (I only read the one book) but I have a feeling that god isn't responsible here. But we'll see.

""Astrid's house next," Sam said. "She's closest." "You know where I live?"Astrid asked." 

LOL.

Oh Sam you stalker! Following people home is a BIG no-no.

Oh no, Astrid has an autistic brother called Pete and I'm guessing he's younger than her? Which means he's still around somewhere but he's not at the house.

Dun dun dun...

And now we switch to Lana and her Grandpa Luke, who are driving along in a pickup truck and WAIT WHAT'S THIS!?

"Your dad caught you sneaking vodka out of the house for some punk."

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS NOT A 14 YEAR OLD ALCOHOLIC?!?

SIRIUSLY!!!!!

Ok, the truck obviously crashed because her grandpa vanished, and she broke her arm ewww. I've broken my arm twice and it's not even fun. At least Patrick, her dog, is alive! Oh wait OMG VULTURES ARGH THE SUSPENSE

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Seventh

Oliver continues refractory

Wikipedia's page on 'Refractory' was not particularly helpful to me in trying to understand what Dickens is saying (I'm guessing it's not the sexual meaning) but I'll read on anyway.

Noah runs all the way to the workhouse pausing 'not once for breath', to get Mr Bumble, who 'with a gleam of pleasure in his metallic eyes', is only too ready to listen to Noah. Metallic eyes?

My revised mental image of Mr Bumble.

The gentleman in the white waistcoat, passing, agrees with Noah, remarked that he always thought Oliver would be hung (which he did). They manage to twist (lol) Noah's words enough so that Oliver sounds even worse and send Mr Bumble (which I now hear in my head as talking like a robot) to cane Oliver.

THEN (and this is omg) Mr Bumble explains that Oliver has been overfed and now has 'a artificial spirit'. OKAY, BUMBLE, lets give all the orphans the minimum of gruel so they're too exhausted to challenge the status quo! If he wasn't made of metal I would SO strangle him right now.

You know what this next scene reminded me of? Harry Potter. Oliver and Mrs Sowerberry argue, with Mrsd Sowerberry telling Oliver that his mother 'deserved what [Noah] said, and worse'. Um, Aunt Petunia much? Mr Sowerberry then gives Oliver a 'drubbing'. So Oliver decides to escape.

This is very, very exciting to me. He's soooo brave! And he sees his old friend Dick who is dying :-( and Dick blesses Oliver and Oliver had never heard anyone say that before :((

And now he's off to London!

PS Since Refractory is 'the quality of a material to retain its strength at high temperatures' I'm guessing Dickens is talking about Oliver's steadfastness even while being abused?

Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Five

Anne's History

Oooh, backstory!

My god, Anne is chatty. It's actually slightly ridiculous. I can see why Marilla would get a bit frustrated, although she's still not treating Anne very well.

"I guess it doesn't matter what a person's name is as long as he behaves himself,' said Marilla"

Um, maybe because Marilla is a horrible name and you were probably teased at school? Oh wait you probably didn't go to school, you 1800's girl you.

Anne's parents died from fever when she was only 3 months old :(

Anne then went to live with a succession of carers, all of whom seemed to die, which is even more depressing.

Marilla's cold, cold heart is being turned to loooove...

The next chapter is 'Marilla makes up her Mind' so OBVIOUSLY she's going to keep Anne. Poor, sad, Anne.

Gone - Chapter One

I've decided to start reading Gone by Michael Grant.

Here it is.

So we'll see how this goes, shall we?

299 Hours, 54 Minutes

What do these numbers meannn

All I know about the book is that everyone over the age of 14 disappears? I think. Although those people on the front cover look waaaaay older than 14. She's wearing lipstick!

We're introduced to a whole host of characters straight away: Sam, who I assume is the protagonist; Mary, who I feel is like Hermione for some reason; Quinn, Sam's best friend; Edilio (?) a 'potentially interesting' kid; and 'Bouncing Bette'. What does that even refer to?

Okay, it turns out the Hermione character is actually Astrid Ellison, who's doing University stuff (at 13? wtf) and is a possible love interest for Sam!

Okay wait, time for exciting maths:

"On the chalkboard you could quite clearly see "Polyn." "She was writing the word 'polynomial,'" Astrid said in a church-voice whisper. "Yeah, I was going to guess that," Sam said dryly. "I had a polynomial once," Quinn said. "My doctor removed it.""

Oh maths. How I <3 thee.

Okay, it's flashback Sam time. It turns out he's quite average and doesn't exactly have a place in the school (how original). And he dialled 911 after his bus driver had a heart attack when he was like 12. The man.

OK WAIT, he also STEERED THE BUS ONTO THE SHOULDER OF THE ROAD AND PARKED IT SAFELY

"If he had hesitated for even a second, the bus would have plunged off a cliff and into the ocean."

Now maybe it's just me, but that does NOT sound like a typical 13 year old. And I know that the author wouldn't choose to write a book with a scared fool as the protagonist, but siriusly? Siriusly.

Quinn says "brah". LOVE

Oh god, there's no internet? YOU MIGHT AS WELL ALL DIE NOW, CHILDREN

No TV either??? WHYYYYYY

Okay, they're fourteen, which is obviously SO much better because it means that they're, like, mature now?

Sam and Quinn are scared about their 'moms' but (wait for this) Quinn is wearing shades. He's 14, in school, and is wearing sunglasses. Um, what. Oh well, they're going home to check out their families, which is pretty typical for someone in that situation I would think.

Now the next chapter seems to be counting down the numbers in its title? 300 hours is 12.5 days, so I'm guessing that's the timespan of the book. Maybe it's counting down to someone's birthday? As long as it's not Quinn or Astrid because they're my FAVES

Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Four

Morning at Green Gables

I'm lovin' Anne because of her imaginative descriptions and childhood innocence.

But oh no, here's Marilla:

"'It's time you were dressed,' she said curtly."

Oh Marilla. We all know you're going to stop hatin' Anne soon enough. Just give in. She's so adorable.

After another page-long monologue (!) Anne goes to breakfast WITHOUT TURNING BACK THE BEDCLOTHES. This will obviously result in the death of a dolphin.

Now Anne, who has been allowed to play, is declining because 'There is no use is loving things if you have to be torn from them". Actually, Anne, isn't love of any kind still vital?

Bonny the geranium! This is so ridiculous that I lol'd. And Snow Queen the cherry-tree! Anne is actually great.

I'm planning to start reading/reviewing a third book (crazy, I know), but I think I'll get something quite a bit more recent. I have The Old Curiosity Shop and Robinson Crusoe sitting on my bedside table but I really feel like something more modern for a change. I might go to the library tomorrow.

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Sixth

I know, I know! It's called 'Chapter a Day Book Reviews' and it's been almost a week since my last post. I'm sorry. I'll try and keep it regular from now on, but I can't make any promises.

Oliver, being goaded by the Taunts of Noah, rouses into Action, and rather astonishes him

Oh dear :s

So, Oliver becomes very popular with people because of his funeral work. In fact, he receives

"the indescribable admiration and emotion of all the mothers in the town."

If there wasn't another 410 pages to go (I'm 9.89% finished, guys!), I could almost think that Oliver will stay where he is and grow up, certainly not happy and healthy, but at least alive. But I doubt it.

Noah is now being even more horrible to Oliver because he's jealous of Oliver's success, and Charlotte and Mrs Sowerberry are being horrible as well. Wikipedia explained to me that Charlotte is the Sowerberry's maidservant (and also that she's in love with Noah, oops) so that clears that mystery up.

"And now I come to a very important passage in Oliver's history, for I have to record an act, slight and unimportant perhaps in appearance, but which indirectly produced a most material change in all his future prospects and proceedings."

WHAT IS IT

I'm guessing Oliver's courage will shine through again when he challenges Noah. I hope it makes Oliver sound like the man (because he clearly is anyway).

Okay, Noah's about to get 'rather personal'. Raaaathar. This should be quotable.

I was right!

"'Tol de rol lol lol, right fol lairy, work'us', said Noah,"

Okay, first of all, WHAT. I don't even. Secondly, DID CHARLES DICKENS INVENT LOL?!? He is my new idol if this is true (and I already <3 him for being on Doctor Who).

Dammit Noah, insulting Oliver for having a dead mother is REALLY the lowest of the low. I would siriusly know.

OMG Oliver strangled Noah and threw him to the ground LIKE A BOSS YESSSSS

And now they're sending for Mr Bumble and have locked Oliver in a room. And so this chapter actually ends on a cliffhanger and I am excited to see what happens next!