Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Three

Marilla Cuthbert is Surprised

Okay, I'm so excited right now for Marilla to be flabbergasted.

"'Matthew Cuthbert, who's that?' she ejaculated."

Lol @ ejaculated. Also, must she call her husband (brother?) by his full name? After Anne has a little cry:

"Something like a reluctant smile, rather rusty from long disuse, mellowed Marilla's grim expression."

Rusty smile? Marilla has a rusty smile. Just say that out loud. How stupid does it sound? Rusty smile.

Marilla is actually hilarious. Even though she's treating Anne as if she's not as good as herself, and is unworthy of being treated well, it just comes off as humourous. Unlike in Oliver Twist, where it's horrible.

Well, obviously Anne is going to stay otherwise there wouldn't be a book (and there's a series of nine more but I'm not planning to read those).

"The whole apartment was of a rigidity not to be described in words, but which sent a shiver to the very marrow of Anne's bones."

People are so horrible to orphans! If I ever meet one I will be extra nice.

Okay, I probably shouldn't use so many quotes in my review, but "Marilla's astonishment could not have been greater if Matthew had expressed a predilection for standing on his head."? Seriously? This woman is the queen of over-reacting.

Anne cried herself to sleep :(:(:(:(:(

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Fifth

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday! Unexpected engagements popped up.

Oliver mingles with new Associates, and, Going to a Funeral for the first time, forms an unfavourable Notion of his Master's Business

Oliver (who's still only 8 I'm pretty sure) is now scared that there might be monsters in the coffins.

Terrifying.

Ok, he's actually eleven, and now some new random is going to beat him up
:(

He's called Noah, and he's Oliver's new boss. Charlotte (Noah's boss's wife?) tells Noah to leave Oliver alone, to which Noah replies that Oliver's parents have left Oliver alone his entire life. Charlotte and Noah share 'a hearty laugh'.

whyyyyyyyy

Okay, now Oliver is to become a 'mute' for children: someone who stands silently during children's funerals. Mr Bumble (who seems to keep cropping up) supplies Mr Sowerberry with the details of a recent death so he can arrange a funeral.

Dickens is throwing this anti-establishment message at us pretty hard, isn't he? The worst part is that the poverty isn't exaggerated :s

Anne of Green Gables - Chapter Two

Matthew Cuthbert is Surprised

Pre-reading prediction: he will be surprised that Anne is not a boy.

Matthew rides along to the station, thinking that all woman laugh at him, and walks right past Anne when he gets there. The station master fully shuts him down, as well:

"'...Maybe they were out of boys of the brand you wanted.' He walked jauntily away, being hungry..."

Ah, the good old days when after delivering earth-shattering news, you wandered off because you were hungry. Matthew is then too scared to tell Anne there's been a mistake, and they go off to Green Gables together, Anne being given (several) full page monologues. After being described as a 'freckled witch' (lol), Anne makes Matthew quite dizzy with all her talking.

Anne and Matthew. No idea where it's from.

Anne makes up all kinds of lovely names for the landmarks they pass, and then they drive past Rachel's house:

"...it was already quite dark, but not so dark that Mrs Rachel could not see them from her window vantage."

 That crazy stalker! I hope Anne teaches her a lesson.

Now we're at the end of the chapter and I can't WAIT to see how Marilla reacts to Anne's arrival.

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Fourth

Oliver, being offered another Place, makes his first Entry into Public Life

I am hopeful that Oliver will soon be treated well even though I know it is unlikely! Maybe he'll get some money like Pip in Great Expectations (verrrrry boring book btw. Don't read it).

OH NO Dickens is talking about sending people to sea! I dearly hope that Oliver does not at all go to sea because the sea is horrible:

"...the skipper would either flog him to death, in a playful mood, some day after dinner, or knock his brains out with an iron bar..."

Well, that was a satisfying dinner! I feel like playing a game now! Let's play WHIP ORPHANS TO DEATH!

No. Just no.

Mr Bumble goes out looking for a ship to dump Oliver on, but instead bumps into Mr Sowerberry, (is that pronounced sour-berry? These names are ridiculous), the undertaker (!). And it turns out Mr Sowerberry wants an apprentice. So Oliver goes to live with him.

AND HAS TO SLEEP WITH THE COFFINS!!!

Why is everything soooo horrible?

Anne of Green Gables - Chapter One

So, I thought I'd shake things up by reading another book about an orphan at the same time as I'm reading Oliver Twist. Anne of Green Gables was first published in 1908, so it's only 102 (103? The new year is so confusing) years old, and therefore will hopefully be easier to read!

Mrs Rachel Lynde is Surprised

In this chapter we meet Rachel, who sounds a bit like an obsessive-compulsive stalker:

"Rachel Lynde was one of those capable creatures who can manage their own concerns and those of other folks into the bargain."

Mmm, no thanks.

Maybe Anne will loosen up Rachel and get her away from knitting and running the Sunday school? We also meet Rachel's husband who is "meek" hahaha. It sounds like he would have to be. 

I just read through the chapter list and I cannot wait for Chapter 9, 'Mrs Rachel Lynde is Properly Horrified'. It sounds great.

Rachel stalking leads her to investigate Matthew Cuthbert, who is shy and unrevealing, as she sees him riding off in his best clothes.

"Mrs Rachel, ponder as she might, could make nothing of it, and her afternoon's enjoyment was spoiled."

So she's only happy when she knows exactly what everyone around her is doing. She sounds like a fab control freak.

We now meet Marilla, Matthew's sister/wife(?) when Rachel decides to do a bit of snooping to find out what Matthew is up to. I have to say, Rachel IS observant. I suspect that Matthew has gone to pick up Anne, as Green Gables is the name of their house.

I was right:

"'Yes, of course,' said Maria, as if getting boys from orphan asylums in Nova Scotia were part of the usual spring work on any well-regulated Avonlea farm instead of being an unheard-of innovation."

Lol.

Rachel tells Marilla not to get an orphan, citing various cases in which orphans were unruly/murderous. Marilla then has a (slightly sexist?) mini-rant about how they're not getting a girl.

Oh Marilla, don't you understand that as a book character things will never happen the way you want them to?

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Third

Relates how Oliver Twist was Very Near Getting a Place, Which Would Not Have Been a Sinecure

I headed off to Wiktionary to discover what a sinecure was, and learnt that it means 'a position that requires no work but still gives a payment'. This is a fair description of the chimney sweeping work he is offered by Mr Gamfield.

Not very much happens in this chapter, to be honest. A lot of adults are very horrible to Oliver, except the magistrates, who notice that he is unhappy and forbid him to go with Mr Gamfield. Oliver is returned to solitary confinement and the poster advertising him is put back up again.

I suspect, however, that we have not seen the last of Mr Gamfield, as I find it unlikely that he would be introduced so pointlessly. This chapter ends exactly how it begins (everyone hates Oliver a bit more, but that's the only difference), and I don't think Dickens would have put such a random chapter in here for no reason. But we'll see.

Oliver Twist - Book the First, Chapter the Second

Treats of Oliver Twist's Growth, Education, and Board

Does he mean 'treatment' when he uses the word treats? Slightly confusing.

So, in the second chapter, we learn about Oliver growing up. And he has a hard life. After using some extraordinarily long sentences (81 words!) we learn that Oliver is 'farmed' to another workhouse 3 miles off (so there goes my theory about him being brought up by drunk nurse), and supervised by an old lady who takes most of the money allotted for the care of the children and spends it on herself:

"thereby finding in the lowest depth a deeper still".

 The woman gets the children to exist "upon the smallest possible portion of the weakest possible food", and a very large number of them die.

I can see why Oliver will run away.

Also, they always know when inspections will be, so the children can be made to look all neat. Grrr, ill-treatment of children really infuriates me.

And now we fast-forward to Oliver's eighth birthday, and are introduced to two new characters: Mrs Mann, the "good lady of the house" (I already hate her), and Mr Bumble the beadle (a type of policeman I think).

Wait.

His name is MR BUMBLE?? How could anyone ever take him seriously.

What I imagine Mr Bumble looks like.

Mr Bumble is angry at being locked out, but Mrs Mann flatters him and he calms down. Also, he has a cane and is fat. They go into the brick-floored (?!) parlour, and Mr Bumble has some gin (and is pleased to hear that Mrs Mann gives it to the children, although as they gave children opium, gin is not so bad). No-one's ever found Oliver's dad, and Mr Bumble named Oliver.

Prediction: Oliver's dad will turn up again later in the book. Maybe as a thief, or maybe as dead, but he won't just be dropped.

"...Oliver was then led away by Mr Bumble from the wretched home where one kind word or look had never lighted the gloom of his infant years."

:-(

He's interviewed by the board (and he gets confused and thinks it's going to be a living piece of wood which is amusing), and is told he has to pick 'oakum' by picking apart old rope. Apparently it rips up your fingers.

I'm not quite sure I understood the next bit, but a law was passed that made more poor people die by a combination of less food and more work? However, the end bit of the chapter I understood very well.

"'Please, sir, I want some more.'"

Even though Oliver was chosen by lot to go up and ask, he's very brave! And I've heard this line of the story before, of course, it's very well-known. Oliver is abused by the master (I hate him now too), and Mr Bumble is called. The next exchange was quite amusing:

"The board were sitting in solemn conclave when Mr Bumble rushed into the room in great excitement, and addressing the gentleman in the high chair, said, - 'Mr Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir; - Oliver Twist has asked for more.' There was a general start. Horror was depicted on every countenance."

The amusement vanishes when Mr Limbkins orders that Oliver is to be hung! (And shouldn't it be hanged?) The gentleman in the white waistcoat puts up a poster saying they'll pay someone 5 pounds to take Oliver off their hands. And that's the end of the chapter.

Now, the blurb definitely says he runs away, so either someone takes him and then he runs away, or he just runs away. I'm not sure what it will be, especially as he's locked in solitary confinement at the moment. However, I am quite excited to find out tomorrow!